Violence It can sell a record or two and so's the way that it goes

Sexy It does wonders for your video, the fashion statement that's always in vogue
Money It's the stuff that makes the world go 'round.
Rollin with the pig 'til they're filthy, stinkin' rich!
Cindy Paula, Janet, Sheena, Vanessa, Whitney, Cher, Madonna,
Strutting cross the screen like some heat crazed @#*$%! (Ah!)

I've heard it all, so many times, I'm goin' out of my head!
"Hug me! Squeeze me! Hit me! Hurt me!" But did ya hear what she really said?!

(Chorus)

Buy my record! Buy my record!
Buy my record! Buy my record!

The room eliminates with Reverend Ichobod Slick, leading his faithful on, in song.
He can do no wrong by Sister Mary Dirtytrick, she be the one what "bang the gong"!
And the organ's Mr. Jeremiah True. What's true of him is true of me and you.
Lost his record deal standing for the truth!
That's when Slick delivered him! (Proof his faith was just too slim.)

I've heard it all, so many times, I'm going out of my head!
"Would you like to function in the unction?" But did you hear what he really said?!

(Chorus)

Buy my record! Buy my record!
Buy my record! Buy my record!